A little while ago, I published a post on what a situationship is, my experience of being in a situationship, and how to get over one. But before you even try to get over a situationship, the first step is to get out of the situationship. Luckily, I have been there, done that, and worn the t-shirt.
This post is going to focus on how I got out of my situationship. I get that every situation(ship) is unique, but hopefully, you will be able to learn from what I did and get out of your own situationship.
1. Figure out what you want
Before you do anything, the first thing you should do is figure out what you want. Do you want things to end completely? Are you happy with remaining to have casual sex with that person? Or do you want to get into a relationship with them? I'm guessing if you're reading this post you don't want to do the second one. You need to go into the next step knowing exactly what you want so the other person in this situation can't persuade you otherwise. You are doing this for yourself. Not anyone else. You.
2. Talk to them
The best thing you can do is talk to that person. Yes, this isn't the easiest thing you can do; but sometimes, doing the hardest thing is best in the long run. Some people (and I include myself in this) are really bad at expressing how they really feel so you may end up in a situationship for this exact reason. Talking to the person you are in a situationship with will hopefully let you both see how you both feel and from this, you should be able to figure out whether you want to end things completely or get into a relationship.
3. Believe what the other person tells you...
Sometimes, it can be all too easy to have an idea of a situation in your head where, as an example, you tell the person whom you are in a situationship with that you really like them and want to make things that bit more official and you imagine they tell you exactly the same thing and you live happily ever after. But this isn't a fairytale. This is real life. So, if you tell them this and they tell you that actually they would rather things remain casual between the two of you right now or that they want to break things off, don't think you can make them change their mind. Life doesn't always work out the way you want it to and that's okay.
4. ...but don't let them manipulate you
From my own personal experience, I was in a situationship because the guy kept leading me on and making me believe that there was a possibility of things going somewhere when all he really had an interest in was keeping things casual. If you try and have a conversation with them and they try and convince you that they do see things going somewhere but that they want to keep things as they are for now because they're not completely ready for a relationship but don't want to lose you, that's when you run.
5. Take time for yourself
It's more than likely that if you are in a situationship that this won't turn into a relationship and you will come out of it. When and if this happens, it is important for you to take a little bit of time for yourself to re-assess what you really want from life and relationships so when you are ready to enter the dating pool again, you know the type of people to stay well clear of and the type to head towards.
In my personal experience, situationships never turn into relationships. I can understand being scared to enter a relationship, particularly if you have never been in a relationship before or your previous experience of being in a relationship has been bad. But, in my opinion, if you both really wanted to be in a relationship, you would either be in one or would know where you both stand with each other if you're still in the early stages of dating.
Like I've already said, my guess is that if you're reading this post, you're not looking to get into a relationship with this person and you're actually wanting to break away from them. But whichever way you feel, that's perfectly fine. But don't let them play with your emotions, or at least don't let them do this more to you than they already have, because, at the end of the day, we're here for a long AND fun time, not just something that is portrayed as fun but is actually incredibly tiresome.
Love Beth xx
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